Two hungry lawyers are looking for clients by all means. One would like to urge Pierrot, the other Mme Bégriche to sue anyone under any pretext. But they refuse, flee and then hit the lawyers. The two lawyers join forces to create a dispute: one kills Pierrot's cat and accuses Mme Bégriche of the crime, while the other kills Mme Bégriche's parrot and blames the cat. Dragged to court by their lawyers, the two plaintiffs, victims of the Commissaire's stupidity, were sentenced to be hanged. But they escape without paying any fees and beat up the lawyers who are chasing them. The two lawyers blame each other for this failure and fight to death.

Glove-puppet

All audiences

France

Paris

Duranty Louis Émile Edmond

Printed

Hunger

Lawyer

Trial

Judgment

Speech for the defense

Parrot

Injustice

Crime

Latin

False testimony

Discord

Comical

Satirical

Parodistic

Farcical

French

Pierrot

Police Superintendant

Animal

Misunderstanding

Blow-with-a-stick

Chase

Fight to the death

Court scene

Parodic trial

Hanging scene

Les Plaideurs malgré eux

The Plaintiffs in spite of themselves

Madame Pifardent (literally, Madame Fiery-snout) has been disfigured by sulfuric acid, and a trial ensues to find the culprit. The accused, Émile Belenfant-des-Dames, who is described as “the worst kind of villain, already sentenced to death in absentia nine times”, has been arrested at the Belgian border, 600 kilometres away from the crime scene at the time when it was committed. The Greffier (Court clerk) assures that Belenfant could have covered this distance thanks to the miracles of the railway. Belenfant denies any connection to Madame Pifardent and claims to be innocent. The witnesses are called. Gustave Courbet says that he only knows his paintings. He digresses and talks about the woman he would marry: a woman who could barely read and write, who would not know how to dance and who would wear a straw hat. Gioachino Rossini, who knows nothing about the case, talks about the “macaroni dell’arte”. After him, Alfred de Caston performs a magic trick with cards and dominoes. He leaves the room to the applause. Then, Émile de Girardin speaks; he talks about freedom, peace, his writing and especially his drama Le Supplice d’une femme (The Torture of a woman). He quickly disappears. Alexandre Dumas senior only talks about his accomplishments. Jules Simon, dressed as a primary school teacher, arrives. He passionately discusses the importance of education and of schools, and then leaves. Adolphe Thiers goes after him and talks about his duty. The last witness, the docteur Tardieu (Doctor Tardieu) describes his science experiments on frogs using sulfuric acid. Madame Pifardent’s lawyer, Maître Favre, starts the pleas with a grandiloquent speech filled with metaphors. Then, the accused’s lawyer, Maître Lachaud, starts talking. He accuses Belenfant by recounting his past crimes. To defend himself, Belenfant retorts that those wrongdoings date back to the time of Louis Philippe. He also tries to justify his actions with his lack of education, and explains that he comes from a poor family. The Juge (Judge) interrupts him and forbids him from giving a “philosophical” speech. M. Prudhomme, the foreman of the jury, announces the verdict: the accused is found not guilty. Belenfant demands that a lament be sung in his honour. Before this, M. Prudhomme offers him to… marry his daughter.

Not specified

Lemercier de Neuville Louis

Justice

Guilty

Witness

Celebrity

Absurd

Lemercier de Neuville, illustration for Le Procès Belefant-des-Dames, 1868.